


Ohio Tyler

by RavenAurelieChoiseau



Series: Kitty Bellies: Tyler and Josh being soft bois [8]
Category: Twenty One Pilots, Tysh - Fandom, joshler - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drinking, Fluff, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mutual Pining, New Zealand, Pining, Swearing, Tragic Romance, Years of Pining, rooftop, these bois are kinda oblivious, tyler joseph is single
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 06:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17177534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenAurelieChoiseau/pseuds/RavenAurelieChoiseau
Summary: Tyler is very upset about Josh's proposal. He's never told him his feelings and now the tragedy of it has set in.While still in NZ, Josh goes looking for Tyler at their hotel rooftop and finds him drinking away his sorrows.Tyler has nothing to lose and reveals his true feeliings to Josh.





	Ohio Tyler

**Author's Note:**

> I've been struggling with this fic for days. It might be because I'm like UBER sick with the flu but it was also just giving me so many feelz, I don't know. I'm a sucker for these two and for piney/angsty stories.  
> There is a slight trigger warning... though Tyler never says he wants to kill himself he is very sad and Josh mistakenly assumes he does. I figure the situation warrants a warning.  
> I’ve decided to make a series and include all the stories I’ve written so far as well where I let the bois be their soft selves. These stories can be read in any order since the main theme is cotton candy fluffiness. This one is a bit edgier but at the end these bois are just downier than fabric softener.

**“If happy is her, I’m happy for you”**

There is a faint light in the distance. Hazy. It reminds Tyler of fireflies. It is summer here in New Zealand. 

Summer in December. Crazy. That’s something he can never wrap his head around. Not after so many wintry Christmases in Ohio.  
It’s kind of like they’re in a time machine. Stuck at the end of the world, 18 hours ahead (or behind). Two seasons ahead (or behind). Depends on the point of view.  
  
Does New Zealand Tyler still love Josh here? Because Ohio Tyler does. Ohio Tyler could still stop this. 18 hours into the past, from his bed in Columbus, he could stop this.  
He wishes desperately he could put himself and Josh on a plane and if only… if only they could fly back home, back to yesterday.    
If only.  
  
The singer decides that if crossing the expanse of time were real, it would allow him to go back way longer than that. He’d leap at least two years. At least. Because now? Now it’s too late. He missed his window. It’s over.  
It’s over and he’s so fucking devastated it’s brought him to the edge. Literally.  
  
The warm night breeze caresses his flushed face and for a moment he enjoys it, mouth slack, eyes shut tight.  
Then something in the air calls up a memory. It’s a flash, but it’s enough to make Tyler’s jaw tense.  
  
Summer. It was always a happy season, Tyler reflects. A barbeque season. A beach season.  
Tyler’s skin gilds with hardly any effort and if he doesn’t remind Joshie to put on sunscreen, the drummer’s fair complexion reddens and freckles over. Like that time in LA when…  
  
That’s what it is, what sparks the memory. The smell of tropics and melanin. Josh under a blazing sky on a red towel, his matching cherry flame hair curling from the sweat.  
Tyler almost betrayed himself then. Josh’s chapped lips under a July sun were such a temptation. His perfect body was glistening from cream and sea water. A few drops of sweat laked in the groove of his sternum and Tyler dared wipe them away, drawing his fingertips to his curious lips before his slumbering drummer could realize what had happened.  
  
Josh’s chest tasted like a salty Piña Colada. Tyler would have happily sampled his kiss.  
That’s when he knew. Tyler finally admitted to himself he was gone for Josh. He wrapped his arms around his thin shins, digging his toes into the sand, Josh’s essence still lingering on his tongue.  
He should have told him then. Why didn’t he?! Fuck!  
  
Years of denial, a failed engagement…none of it had solved the problem because the problem was Tyler. Tyler was a coward. He was madly in love with his best friend and band mate and was too terrified of losing him to reveal himself.  
Perdition is a road all too easy to tread after that. What remained was "drummer on brain" and his hand around his dick. Night after night for years on end Josh’s name rang in his head. It was murmured into foreign pillows in foreign countries while he writhed alone on foreign beds.  
Fuck! Why didn’t he tell him?!  
  
That was before. This is now.  
That was Ohio Tyler. This is… he doesn’t even know who he is anymore. This strange island has ruined him.  
  
The glow is fading into a weak amber.   
Amber like the liquid swishing in the bottle that Tyler’s trying not to drop. The round neck twirls between his thumb and index finger. It’s like he’s winding up a top but he never lets it go.   
  
There are so many things he doesn’t want to let go of.  
  
_Amber, that reminds me of that song…._  
“Stone cold, stone cold  
I was your amber, but now she’s your shade of gold

…  
Give me the truth, me and my heart  
We’ll make it through  
If happy is her, I’m happy for you”  
  
Except he’s not. Tyler isn’t happy for Josh _at all_. He’s bruised from within his core… all the way out.  
His whole body aches as if he’s been thrown down stairs but it was his own goddamn fault for teetering on the last step in slippery socks.  
Fuck! Why didn’t he tell him?!  
  
It’s no longer a flight of stairs. It’s a ledge now. Tyler stands on it, toes evenly aligned with the border. They curl inside his sneakers, opening and closing. Opening and closing.   
It’s almost in time to his blinking. Harder and harder to focus with Tyler’s chocolate eyes filling with tears.  
The light flashes, even more blurred than before. His lids are heavy and fall. A halo of the firefly becomes a perfect Polaroid of Josh’s face a shaky breath later.  
  
Tyler inhales sharply, swallowing a sob.    
The bottle meets his thirsty lips, a grimace twisting his face when the fluid hits his tongue. He can feel it go down, burning along the length of his esophagus and into his already cramped tummy.   
The whiskey pools there, warm.   
  
Tyler sniffles, wiping the briny drops from his cheek with the rounded part of his palm.  
He knows Josh is standing behind him before he even hears the footsteps. It’s his scent. The aftershave that Josh Dun hasn’t changed for nearly a decade gives him away.

“Ty? What are you doing up here?” Josh’s voice is hushed. The tone of voice you’d use if someone was still sleeping but you needed to wake them. Perhaps the tone of voice you’d use if you thought your best friend was about to jump from the top of a building.  
“I’m thinking,” Tyler whispers.  
His voice echoes in his own head. There’s a grit to it. Like he swallowed gravel and even clearing his throat a hundred times hasn’t helped.  
  
They are alone. The rooftop terrace is empty except for him and Josh. Tyler probably shouldn’t be up here this late. He certainly shouldn’t be perched perilously on a ledge twelve stories up, especially with alcohol coursing through his veins.   
“Ty, have you been drinking?” Dumb question. Josh realizes too late a third of the contents is missing.  
  
The singer, back still turned, raises the bottle in a salute.   
“I’m celebrating.” Sarcasm seeps from his words like a poison. He sways and Josh’s breath hitches.  
“Isn’t today a day of celebration, Josh?” The _sh_ is slurred.  
  
Josh winces. “Celebrating?” He doesn’t understand why he has upset Tyler so.  
Unless… unless it’s his…  
“Your engagement, of course. That was quite a fucking show you put on, Josh. Maybe you should consider changing careers. That was some Oscar-worthy shit. I’d slow clap but I don’t want to put down my drink. Sorry.”  
  
Tyler’s words wring his heart. That’s it. It’s the engagement. Shit.  
“Tyler, are you mad at me because I proposed to her?”  
The singer guffaws. “Fuck off, Josh. Just… fuck off.”  
  
Tyler swore. He rarely swears. The gravity of the situation is not lost on the drummer who seeks him out, a trembling hand cupping the bony part of his band mate’s shoulder.  
“Ty...”  
The brunette shakes it off.   
“Don’t touch me, Josh.” His voice is quivering. So is his lower lip.   
“Don’t fucking touch me…” he repeats, but it’s more of a beseech now.  
  
_Don’t touch me please touch me don’t touch me please just fucking touch me forever._  
  
There’s the rub. Tyler wants him. Desires him. Every cell in his body screams for Josh Dun and the best part is… he can’t have him. He can’t have him because it’s fucking OVER.  
  
“Tyler, are you crying? Talk to me. Please.”  
Josh insists. Hesitant fingers spread over soft cotton.   
The singer slowly turns on his heels. Josh really wants him to step onto the terrace.  
Needs him to.  
  
“Tyler, please come down from there. Please come down and talk to me.”  
“What’s the point?” the singer spits. “What’s the point of anything now?” There’s a lilt to his question. It’s laden with sorrow and desperation.  
_Oh Tyler._  
  
Josh fingers into the shirt, just in case. It doesn’t look like Tyler would jump but he’ll be damned if he’s going to risk it.  
“Tyler, please. Come down. For me.” He puts an emphasis on _me_. Tyler would do anything for him.  
Anything.  
Indeed, the brunette hesitates but a second. Hopping down, the Johnny Walker sloshes in its container when he crookedly lands.  
Josh’s hand gets dislodged, but doubles as he steadies Tyler with two outstretched arms.  
  
“Ty, what’s wrong? You never drink. You don’t swear. What is going on? Talk to me, please. You’ve got me anxious.”  
Josh searches his distraught face and Tyler squints. His cheeks are moist from crying. Even in this poor light, with puffy eyes and a pink nose, Tyler is breathtaking.  
Josh bites into his lip to stifle the urge to kiss him. Because that’s all he wants to do right now. Hold him in his arms and kiss away whatever this is.  
  
His urge isn’t a novelty. Nor a one-off impulse. Josh has been struggling with his feelings for years.  
Like Don Quixote tilting at windmills, except the enemy isn’t imaginary. The true enemy stares back at him in the mirror every morning.  
Josh wanted to be selfish. He wanted to tell Tyler he was in love with him. But how could he? How could he put Tyler into such a moral position, with his faith already being tested with fame and fortune?  
Every year passed like slow torture. Different girlfriends would enter and exit their lives. There was always an underlying sense that something was wrong. Off. Maybe the girls sensed it, too. They would never last long and would often be jealous of Tyler and his friendship. Unable to comprehend why they were so close, they preferred to leave.  
  
And then came Debby. On again. Off again. His best and worst attempt at forgetting Tyler.  
Debby was expecting an engagement this time around. She’d been hinting at it for months. Complaining to her friends. Josh wasn’t getting any younger, she’d say. When is he going to settle down? What is he waiting for? When is he going to give us a normal life?  
  
That’s what she called it. A _normal_ life. But who was she to define that word?  
Josh thought what he felt for Tyler, what he’d pretty much ALWAYS felt for Tyler, was perfectly _normal_. What was he waiting for? He was waiting for… Tyler.  
  
The signs were all there. Debby refused to see them then and even now she doesn’t.  
But the signs have always been there. The lingering gazes. Worse yet, the stolen ones. The hugs that last too long or the unnecessary sharing of rooms, even once they had plenty of money. They crave each other’s touch, and even if nothing had ever happened sexually Josh still invents any excuse to graze Tyler’s beautiful golden skin. Be near him. Take in his scent.  
No one makes him laugh like Ty. No one makes him happy like Ty.  
  
Jenna had seen it. That’s why she left. Ended the engagement. One day she packed up her stuff, left a note. All it said was _Ty, please be happy if you can’t be happy with me._ She knew marrying Tyler would really mean marrying Tyler _and_ Josh. __  
Jenna had seen the signs, even confronting Josh about it before she went away.  
“You’re in love with each other. I see that now. It’s more than a bromance. Tell him Josh. Tyler feels it, too. He’ll accept himself if you make him face it. Make him face it. He’ll never be happy otherwise. He’ll only ever truly be happy with you by his side.”  
  
But he didn’t. Josh didn’t. He was too afraid of losing Tyler. As much as he wanted to believe Tyler loved him back, he would have been crushed if he had poured his heart out only to be denied. His soulmate had more trouble acknowledging his feelings. This Josh knew for a fact. How could he have risked it?  
  
“Tyler. Talk to me. Please.”  
The brunette sinks slowly to the floor, his legs bent to the right. The liquor bottle makes a sharp clang against the tile.  
Josh slides down and joins him, their backs against the ledge wall. They look like two tiny rag dolls just thrown into a corner.  
  
“It’s you, Josh,” Tyler’s voice is barely a whisper. Hoarse.  
“What about me, Ty?”  
Josh hopes. He doesn’t know for sure but he hopes. He needs to hear it from Tyler. He’s been waiting nearly 10 years to hear it.  
Tyler can’t keep it in anymore. It hurts too fucking much. It’s literally tearing up his insides. He’s had nothing but sleepless nights and stomach cramps this trip. To stay quiet will make him go insane with sadness.  
  
Tyler’s mouth is dry, but he manages the words. Finally. After all these years.  
“I’m in love with you, Josh. So utterly and irrevocably gone for you it makes me want to fucking scream. And now you’ve proposed, and I missed my window. I missed my…” Tyler can’t hold back the sob any longer. His body bounces from the grief, his mouth open in a cry but nothing coming out.  
“Oh Jesus,” Josh thinks, chest constricted. He's never seen Tyler like this.   
  
“It’s too late now. I’ve lost you forever because I was such a fucking coward. Didn’t wanna lose you. And now I have. I’ve lost you. Forever. I don’t know how I can go on. I want to be happy for you but I just can’t. I can’t. I’m so miserable and fucking selfish I just can’t.”  
Tyler whimpers, hiding his face in the crook of his arm. He doesn’t want to see the look of disgust on Josh’s face.  
Except there isn’t one.  
  
For a moment Josh forgets he proposed to Debby just 5 hours earlier. His heart swells, because he loves Tyler, too. Jesus Christ it’s wrecking Josh to see Tyler so broken. Ten years. Ten years he’s waited for this.  
He can fix this. There’s still time to fix this.  
“Ty… “  
  
“I’m sorry, Joshie. I’m sorry. You’re happy now and I’m just shitting all over that. If only I had said something sooner… If I had been Ohio Tyler.”  
Josh is worried that the trembling singer might be having a nervous breakdown. Ohio Tyler?!  
  
“Ty… Ty. Look at me.”  
Two scared brown eyes slowly lift to meet his. Josh pulls Tyler even closer. Neither of them breathe.  
  
“I love you, Ty. I love you more than life. It’s always been you, Ty. Do you understand me? You and you alone.”  
Tyler blinks, as if he doesn’t understand. “What? You love me back Joshie?”  
Tyler sounds like a toddler. Small voiced, incredulous.   
  
Josh dries Tyler’s eyes with his thumb, his other hand massaging his neck.  
“Yes, I love you back. I’ve loved you since I met you. The day I saw you, you brought me to my knees.”  
Tyler mouths something, squeezes Josh tight. “But Debby… but you proposed… “ He’s nearly on the verge of weeping again.  
  
Russet eyes darken. Not Josh’s proudest moment. “I did. In the absence of you, Tyler. I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait for you. If this would ever happen. She’s nice and in my own way, I do love her. But it’s nothing compared to what I feel for you. I’ve waited for you for a decade. Hell, I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you. You’re my soul mate. My best friend. You make me forget all the bad things in the world. I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to speak up sooner. I was also afraid of losing you. Driving you away. I should have listened to Jenna.”  
“Wait, what? Jenna knew?”  
Tyler is sobering up. His focus is returning.  
“That’s why Jenna left, Ty. She told me she thought we were in love with each other and it wasn’t right for her to get between us. She urged me to tell you. I should have but I was so afraid. If only I had… “  
Tyler is visibly processing all this. He studies Josh’s almond eyes for doubt. There isn’t any. The sensation of someone sitting on his chest has passed.  
“I can still fix this, Ty. We‘ll be together. Nothing is final unless someone says ‘I do’.  I’d rather leave her now, save her the humiliation of living a lie.”  
“We wasted so much time, Jish. So much… and if she makes you happy then... ”  
  
Josh shakes his head, rubbing his nose against Tyler’s. “No, she doesn't Ty. Not like you. And we didn’t waste time. We spent ten years loving each other, growing up together. Being best friends. Everything happens for a reason, Ty. We’re ready now to love each other fully. _Now_. I’ll fix this. She’ll be devastated and hate me but ultimately we all deserve to be happy and she’ll get that. In time she’ll maybe even forgive me. I can’t – I WON’T LET YOU GO.”  
  
Tyler nods slowly, the possibility of a tomorrow together sinking in. Stomach cramps turn into flutters. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Josh.  
“Ty, you weren’t going to jump, were you? Please tell me you weren’t. Because if I had lost you…”  
Tyler doesn’t reply. He silences Josh with their first kiss.  
Shy at first. Chaste. It’s tender and sweet and then there’s just enough need to take their breaths away when their tongues find each other.  
For a while the only sound on the roof is their soft whimpers.  
  
Tyler pulls off, needing air.  
“I wasn’t going to jump, Josh,” the singer pants. “I was just really sad. I'd rather live a lifetime as only your friend than think I left you with such a heartache.”  
Josh’s warm eyes crinkle. He’s holding onto Tyler so tightly he’s afraid he’ll break him. Tyler is so small, thin. Like a beautiful songbird meant to be worshipped.   
“Thank God. I was terrified when I saw you standing there. Never scare me like that again, okay?”  
  
The men curl up with each other like kittens. Neither wants to let go. Their legs and arms are intertwined and they speak in hushed whispers of a future yet to come. They stop to kiss frequently, with an urgency that insinuates they’re afraid they’ll never get another chance.  
  
It’s almost dawn when Josh sits up.  
“I better get back to the room. I want to get this over with. There’s no use in delaying the inevitable and she deserves to know right away.”  
A pair of ruby lips peck Josh’s palm. “I know how hard this is for you, Josh. I do. And if for some reason you’re not sure, well I’d never-“  
  
Josh interrupts him with yet another smooch.  
“I love you, Tyler Joseph. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. I love you and I want to be with you. We deserve our happy ending. We'll get our happily ever after.”  
Perhaps NZ Tyler can finally believe it. It's what Ohio Tyler has prayed for all along.   
“I trust you, Josh. I trust you. Ever after with my beautiful prince is all I ever wanted.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been watching way too many "Friends" reruns and this whole thing just reminded me a bit of Ross and Rachel.  
> Now back to my regularly scheduled fever :(  
> Lyrics quoted are from Demi Lovato's "Stone Cold."


End file.
